You Win Some, You Lose Some

Meredith White

Winning the lottery is a victory. So is winning the spelling bee, the World Series, or WWII. Flushing a $100 bill down the toilet is a tragedy. It is also tragic when United Airlines loses a piece of luggage chock-full of family heirlooms, and when someone commits suicide under the false impression that their lover is dead. These are the obvious examples of the good and the bad that life throws at us. So while it is impractical to live in high hopes of receiving 300 points of extra credit in math or in constant fear of simultaneously breaking all four limbs, it is much more worth your while to be on the look out for the subtleties. Scale your life down a few notches to celebrate the small stuff and cry over the spilled milk with life’s little victories and life’s little tragedies.

Life’s Little Victories:

  • The traffic light senses you’re approaching and turns green, saving you a stop.
  • You arrive tardy to class, but your teacher is tardier.
  • The scantron machine made a mistake and that question marked wrong is actually right. +1!
  • Finding a crumpled up dollar bill in your back pocket when the vending machine is looking particularly good and/or you haven’t eaten in 14 days.
  • The cold side of your pillow on a hot summer night.
  • Glancing up at the clock at 11:11, 2:22, or any other mono-digit time (that’s good luck if you didn’t know and you should race up to the clock to kiss it when this happens).
  • Finding cool doodles on your desk…it’s fine to take credit for them.
  • FREE STUFF e.g. cookies at Safeway (even if they are mostly crumbs), assorted vegetables from Asia Palace, samples at Trader Joe’s and Costco. And hey, check out the books on the give-away cart at the MHS library; I found a real gem about the Donner Party.
  • The song playing in your car ends just as you pull into a parking spot and cut the engine.
  • Paying a visit to the Coin Star machine.
  • Unintentional puns (see above).

Life’s Little Tragedies:

  • Your essay goes ONE LINE onto the next page.
  • Cool Cat Jones (that’s you) gets to class only to realize he forgot to zip his backpack.
  • You really have to pee but you’re wearing a tricky belt, a multi-layered ski ensemble, or a leotard (for most, it is a tragedy in itself to even be wearing a leotard).
  • Getting onto the wrong “every other odd” early on in the math homework.
  • Sitting down to a desk littered with leftover eraser shavings from the period before.
  • Getting stuck in one of those near head-on collisions on a sidewalk. Associated sound effects: “Ah, you go.. EHH, I’ll go this way. Shoot…sorry, my right…@#*%$ MOVE!!!!” (Worst case scenario).
  • Brown paper lunch bag rips…should’ve gone green.
  • The desk in front of you has no book rack, as in no foot rest.
  • A leftie in a desk with a right-handed armrest.
  • Finding that the heel of the bread loaf is all that’s left. Don’t try toasting this, it tastes really bad.
  • Breaking $20 bills.