Housewives Take Over Television

Basketball Wives

“I may have a two million dollar house and all the clothes I want and Louis Vuitton bags, but that don’t mean shit if you don’t have your husband.”

No conflict can rival with the pressure of being the wife of a professional basketball player. These wome appear to have it all- wealth, the social lives, and endless supplies of tight, Snookie-esque dresses, but the struggle they face is real. The show centers on the rocky marriages between the women and their famous husbands, who are almost never around, and the many late nightclub catfights. The two characters in the pack to look out for are, as we so nicknamed, Sassy Royce, and Shaquillle O’Neil’s wife Shaunie, the group leader.

Sister Wives
“Love should be multiplied, not divided.”

This Utah based polygamist family has everything a trashy TV watcher could want: hilariously awkward interactions between husband Kody and his 16 children and the even more awkward relationship between Kody and his four wives. While the marital conflicts are amusing, the one thing on your mind while watching remains: how does any woman, let alone four, would see Kody as an object of desire? To sum up Kody’s personality is nearly impossible. He still acts immature for the the middle-aged man he is, finding potty jokes all too hilarious. As far as housewife shows go, this TV show newbie is sure to contend among the rest. The show is perfect for those of us who can’t help but feel better realizing that our own lives aren’t nearly as uncomfortable.

Real Housewives of New York

“Status is everything.”

This one really drops the ball (or apple, if you will) in comparison to the others. However, one of the biggest perks of the show is the stereotypical New York accent. What’s eerily ironic is that it’s the children who attempt to reign in their middle-aged moms’ inappropriate fashion senses. Even the attire worn to afternoon picnics and late parties stir fights between the children and their mothers. Who knew that lingerie wasn’t appropriate for barbecues? Housewife Bethenny may be the most entertaining of the cast with her domineering attitude and angry bug eyes. This show will capture just about anyone’s attention if either drama or heated middle-aged women arguments appeal to them.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

“I have a taste for luxury, and luxury has a taste for me.”

The real housewives on this show seem incredibly unreal to us average human beings. Be warned: these are the women that made the “purse-Chihuahua” infamous. These women OWN their husbands and get everything they want, whenever they want it. However, as you continue watching, the blonde haired and botoxed faces all start to morph together. It’s no wonder their names are constantly flashed beneath their picture. We recommend the show for anyone who wants to get annoyed as quickly as possible.

Dance Moms
“I was put on this earth to make her dance.”

One can sum up this show in one word; crazy. If you enjoy Toddlers and Tiaras, Dance Moms will likely become the new recording in your DVR. It offers all the glitz and glam of pageants and the outrageous behavior of desperate mothers who are assured their child is especially “gifted.” But there’s a twist: the series is narrated by Head Dance Instructor Abby Lee Miller, who is usually the culprit for the never-ending drama. She takes extreme pride in her semi-sleazy choreography of the young girls, who look more like they’re in their late twenties rather than elementary schoolgirls. The show will have you asking yourself, can this really be reality?