The Fine Art of Facebook Stalking

Rebecca Gluck, Staff Writer

Ever wonder what your old friend, crush, or acquaintance is up to? Facebook makes it easy for you to find out. To master the art of Facebook stalking, you need to be stealthy, sly, and smart. Follow these simple steps and you will soon be a pro:

1. Look up every name the desired stalkee could go by. Consider nicknames and middle names as last names. Hint: If you are unable to identify them, find someone you know is friends with them in real life and scroll through their friend list.
2. Go through the list of names that come up and see which profile pic looks most like the person.
3. Start by looking at the Facebook wall. Are there any interesting photos? What kind of a person do they seem like based on their pictures? If there are any people who repeatedly pop up in photos, you can stalk them next. If you find someone interesting, click and hold on their name in the tag and drag it into a new tab. This way you won’t forget who you wanted to stalk and can revisit their account later.
**caution** Be careful not to give away your identity….. do not like any picture (especially ones that aren’t recent) or press the “L” key on the keyboard!! They will know you have been stalking them and all your hard work will be wasted.
4. Now onto the profile pictures. Make sure to look at old pictures. There’s nothing more entertaining than discovering photos of people during their awkward middle school phase. If the person you’re stalking has privacy settings, unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about it. However, profile and cover pictures should be available even if the person’s other photos are private.
5. Once you’re done with that, click on their albums and repeat the process.
6. Study each picture carefully. What kind of life do they lead? Are they a partier? A homebody? A social media expert?
7. Check out their list of mutual friends. Any unexpected mutual friends? Stalk them too.
8. Once you are done investigating them, move onto their friends. Find the one who comments on everything, likes everything, or somehow pops up in every picture, and make them your next target.
9. You’re done. You just successfully and stealthily Facebook stalked someone. Congratulations; now get to it.