How to Get Signed Out of School

Margaret Ross, News Editor

Everyone has those days when you just, well, can’t even. Maybe you have a test you didn’t study for or an assignment due that you didn’t do. Maybe you’re tired or craving Whole Foods. I know the feeling. After nearly four years of manipulating our parents to sign us out of school, the class of 2015 has racked up some pretty effective excuses to get permission to leave.

 

  1. “I’m so stressed out”

If your parents have heard anything about Miramonte’s rigorous classes and tough curriculum, they know we’re prone to stressful breakdowns. In the height of a stressful week of school, your productivity decreases and you become a burden on the school. So really it’s best for everyone if you go home and watch Netflix.

  1. “It’s freezing outside and I think I’m getting a cold”

As long as your parents aren’t from the east coast, in which case they might actually know what winter is, the thought of forcing a child to wander a chilly campus will compel any parent to drag you home.

  1. “I have a substitute so I know I won’t miss anything”

Even though most of Miramonte’s frequent substitutes manage to execute a regular class, your parents can stay in the dark and believe that students waste a class throwing paper airplanes and pranking the stand-in-teachers.

  1. “Period cramps”

I have no experience using this excuse as a male student, but as a female student, it’s a great excuse (boys: try this and let me know how it goes). It works especially well with fathers who want to hear nothing about the subject and are unlikely to notice if you use this excuse for three weeks of the same month.

  1. “Want to meet me for lunch?”

Tactful and subtle, this excuse plays on your parents’ unconditional love for you. Of course your mom wants to put her Reservoir walk on hold and meet you at Vitality Bowls! She probably misses you when you’re away at school all day, so how could she turn down an opportunity to spend some quality time with you? All she has to do is phone up the attendance office first.