Powderpuff Power Rankings

Powderpuff+Power+Rankings

Dylan Kronenberg, Entertainment Editor

The powderpuff championship is finally here. After a long powderpuff season, the Mirador ranks the top powderpuff performers of the season and gives them their NFL counterpart.

 

  1. Jessykah Frank

Jessikuh Frank was a defensive powerhouse for the sophomores in her powderpuff game against the seniors. She was matched up with Megan Melohn for the second year in a row and, unlike last year, Melohn was not able to gift Frank a concussion. Frank blew through the seniors line like a hot knife through butter. Jessikuh is not the fleetest of foot, so she did not sack senior quarterback Jessie Wilson, but she forced some quick throws with her disruptive antics in the backfield.

NFL Counterpart: N’damukong Suh.

  1. Sabrina Ionescu

Yes, the legend herself does stoop to the level of us peasants to ball out off the court and on the gridiron every fall. Senior Sabrina Ionescu has absolutely slaughtered the competition during powderpuff since she came to Miramonte as a freshman. Hands down the best defensive safety and offensive wide receiver at Miramonte, Ionescu uses her mad hops to vault over opposing players with minimal effort expended. Like Charlie Sheen after a couple lines, Sabrina Ionescu is unstoppable and “winning.” Nobody has been able to stop her over the last three years and it looks like she is about to finish a hall of fame powderpuff career the way she always has, on top.

NFL counterpart: Julio Jones

  1. Sam Devecchi

Sam Devecchi is one of the few powderpuff wide receivers that can consistently catch a football. This is not sexist; it is just a fact. She uses her catching ability and soccer speed to her advantage and reels in bombs every game. Devecchi draws double teams from opposing secondaries because of her natural abilities, which does limit production, but even with two defenders she still produces at a high level. Devecchi is definitely a huge part of the junior team and is set to upend the seniors in the upset of the century.

NFL counterpart: Randall Cobb

  1. Claire Dodd

Claire Dodd is a defensive animal. She embodies the core values of powderpuff football here at Miramonte: incredible aggression with a total lack of finesse.  But this playing style is about as effective as Plan B. Although Dodd stands at just five feet, she brings an intimidation factor to the field. She is a leader on the seniors’ offensive and defensive lines and is not afraid to bend the rules as long as her team benefits in the end. For four years Dodd has shown no hesitation or fear during games and has proven to be effective time after time. She looks to anchor the senior defensive line to a championship this year. Watch out for the little warrior.

NFL counterpart: Ray Lewis

  1. Katie Hawkins

Shouts out to Katie Hawkins doe. Hawkins was a defensive standout in the recent powderpuff games where she starred as the safety for the juniors. Wherever the ball went, Hawkins was chasing down freshman like it was her profession. It is well understood that powderpuff is a place where girls get to use their bodies, not their words to assert dominance over other girls in different grades. The Hawkins-Ionescu matchup in the championship will follow suit: an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.

NFL counterpart: Adam “Pacman” Jones

  1. Caroline Shafer

Caroline Shafer has some natural abilities when it comes to the powderpuff field. A valuable weapon to juniors’ offensive strategy, she towers over the competition. Shafer and Sam Devecchi star as wide receivers for the juniors and prove to be a tough duo to contain. Opposing teams have to game-plan for Shafer’s height and fellow junior Sam Devecchi’s speed and there is very little height on opposing defenses, which leaves Shafer open frequently. When she faces the stingy senior defense, specifically Sabrina Ionescu at safety, things could change, but as of now Shafer is a force to be reckoned with. Good luck with this beast, seniors.

NFL counterpart: Alshon Jeffery