Guest Column: He Who Ruined Prom

Guest Column: He Who Ruined Prom

Logan Boersma, Guest Writer

Guest Columnist Logan Boersma discusses the trials and tribulations junior boys must go through in the quest for a prom date.


“Hey, want to go to prom with me?” a kid once said, seemingly millions of decades ago. Shortly thereafter, some typical playground show off out did him, bringing his potential date a flower. Over time, the ever-so-popular junior prom dance slowly evolved from a small-scale get together of peers, into an ordeal so large that tears are shed, friends are lost, and, sometimes, personal confidence is forever tarnished, all because of the jerk who started the “I’m going to ask my girlfriend to prom by causing a meteor shower on a warm evening that magically spells out the words ‘prom’”, theme.

Prom, short for “promenade,” is a formal gathering of students, typically high school seniors or juniors, that often encompasses a variety of different “fun” activities. For instance, a Prom King or Queen may be revealed, busses may be chartered, fancy venues may be booked and even a limo or two may be rented.

Girls typically get their hair styled, have a specialist apply their makeup and spend hundreds of dollars on a fancy dress and shoe combo. Similarly, but not as extreme, the guys rent fancy tuxedos, often with a tie that matches their date’s dress. Then, after the two sexes have grouped together, friends typically take pictures at one of their houses, everyone anxious and worried about how their hair looks, what their parents think of their date, or even what their children will think of their date 20 or 30 years down the road.

Yet, even though all of this preparation is very difficult and cumbersome, it’s the way in which the individuals ask each other to prom that can cause the most labor, stress and fear.

And for what? Why is it not okay to simply say: “Will you go to prom with me?”

Well, it all stems back to old Billy Howard, who, after seeing his friend ask a perfectly beautiful young lass in a perfectly acceptable manner, sought to outdo his buddy, probably because he felt insecure himself. So, Billy brought his date a nice little flower.

Then, to follow Billy and not “disappoint” his date, old Jimmy Chitwood asked his girlfriend with TWO FLOWERS. Oh boy, his date must have felt oh so special. But uh-oh, then came Marco Miller, who not only brought his date flowers, but also got down on one knee, hopefully making his date feel as if she were Kim Kardashian walking into a parade of “I did nothing in life” wannabes.

The trend continued, which ultimately led us to where we are today, with balloons, loudspeakers, messages in bottles, and even blimps being flown over with “prom?” written on it.

But, again, I ask why? Why do kids go through hell and back to simply speak the seven words: “Will you go to prom with me?”

Well, in my opinion, it’s all for nothing, it’s 100 percent Billy Howard’s fault, and now, kids, after spending hours and hours pondering up the most creative way to ask their dates, are rejected, possibly even in front of huge crowds.

Teenagers feel that if they don’t ask someone in a better way than anybody else, society will chastise and clearly condemn their unacceptable act. But this is obviously not true, for there is not a single student that I know that has ever been rejected from his or her current social group after asking his or her date in a less extravagant manner. So, it’s not worth it. There is no use in building up stress, losing sleep and spending countless hours thinking of the most creative way.

The point of asking creatively, as some would argue, is to make your date feel special, happy or excited. However, girls are often embarrassed when asked on a larger scale.

“My date asked me at my house, which was very nice because not only did I not have to deal with everyone staring at me, but it was also more about us, less about everyone else,” junior Julia Nishioki said.

As Nishioki slyly pointed out, asking people to prom is NOT about making your date happy anymore, rather it is based solely on making the people around you happy, making it seem as if you are somehow “cooler” for busting your ass to ask your date in some extravagant manner.

Clearly, girls, with the exception of the high class divas that nobody likes anyways, aren’t going to love he who asks her extravagantly to any greater of an extent than he who didn’t; therefore, the only plausible reason for guys to go out of their way to ask girls in a special manner is to please the people around them, not even the girl herself. Thus, it is completely unnecessary.

It all stems back to that jerk Billy Howard, who was so insecure that he had to outdo his buddy, not only making his buddy look like a fool but also setting a ridiculous standard that students for decades would have to follow.

Asking dates to prom in an extravagant way will NOT necessarily make your date happier, and should NOT be such a necessity.